Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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