A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
