winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
