see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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