Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
