Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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