did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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