Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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