Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm like, not good at living.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
