Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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