i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
