i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom