I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
