She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.