That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.