Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
