Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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