hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
