i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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