the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
