dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
