? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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