My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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