eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
