Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
