how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
