she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
