I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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