Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
