Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
