I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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