talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would fuck him just for his dog
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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