Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
