So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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