the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
