: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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