dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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