he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is Oprah even human
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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