you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize