I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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