In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
