all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
