Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
