it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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