Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im holly from the hills drunk
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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