A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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