I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize