I must be too annoying 4 u.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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