The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
