And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
