Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He passed out mid-signature
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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