i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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