My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
