I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
