dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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