I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
