his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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