dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
