I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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