She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
