i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
