So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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