I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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