No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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