Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
