Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize